American Dreaming: Leadership

Influencing Others

"When Ryan was only several days old and was in the neonatal intensive care unit, not a lot was happening with the doctors. They were essentially maintaining him. We had a son born previously with the same disorder who had only lived three days. I called a meeting of the neonatologists, including the pathologist who had done an autopsy on our first son. I said, 'Look, from my perspective, all you are doing is waiting for Ryan to die. I think that's based on our previous son Jeremy. I see some differences between the two children in some joint movement and things like that. I am not a doctor. My observations may not be medically important, but these are the things that I see. ' It was at that point that some action took place. They didn't just maintain his life. That was a key point early on, where stepping in and having a meeting really made a difference in Ryan's future, in that he's here.
- Bob Matthews

"I'm not a very realistic person. I have goals, I have dreams, I have objectives. It's all right to have dreams. How do you think Bobby Kennedy, how do you think Martin Luther King got so successful? Not by being realistic, but by having dreams.

"I have been thinking that I would like to be known as not giving up on that dream of being a public speaker and a consultant to the MR/DD, and I would be traveling around different parts of the country, exploring things. I would like to be like Annie Fortes or Jeff Moyer. Those guys are extraordinary. Ann Fortes is going to be one of my idols, sort of like Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy."
- Clyde Yoder

I didn't want to move any system. I was focused in on Kevin wanting to be in his neighborhood school with his sister. The thing that didn't happen was the value. There was almost the refusal, even to this day, to value Kevin as a human being. Goethe expressed the concept well when he said, "When you treat an individual as he is, he will stay as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be." I don't look at that just for Kevin, but I look at that for my daughter as well. I know that Kevin can be more than people have seen him be. All the things that we've been through, it's always trying to prove that somebody is worthy - worthy! - of recognition as a human being. That to me is so absurd.
- Meg Kane

"My son was laughed at by educators at a young age. He came home crying. He was so hurt, because all the other kids wanted to do all these different things, be fire fighters, be police officers, and he couldn't do all of that, because physically he wasn't able. But he could talk. That's when he thought, "I can speak." They laughed at him. Now that's what he does. He goes to grade schools, junior high and high schools to speak. The kids love him."
- Deb Armstead

Leadership through Organizations

"I don't think I ever heard the term 'inclusion' used until Ryan was about 8 years old, when I became involved in the Family Leadership Project. Up until that time, all I knew about disability issues or disabilities in general was what my wife and I had found by asking questions, getting books from the library, looking up, reading on our own. No one really assisted us, we just asked questions.

"Through the Leadership Project, very quickly I heard about inclusion and knew what it was. I thought, 'That's what we're doing, and that's the right way to go. ' Somewhere along the line during that period of time, I heard about S. A. F. E. [Schools Are For Everyone] and went to a S. A. F. E. conference. It flowed with a lot of other things.
- Bob Mathews

"I'm President of Athens People First. I'm on the steering group for statewide People First. We talk about laws. We talk about how to make sure things are accessible. We talk about government. In People First I've learned to be more sociable, more outgoing, more capable of speaking up. We hold fundraising, we had a car wash. We had a yard sale to help some members go to the Consumer Conference. People First is very important to me. I can be a voice to my peers. If they tell me what they want to see happen, I make sure it happens."
- Sarina Winner

The deaf-blind program had federal money to do training. That helped, because they brought parents together across seven states. It does help to know that you're not alone. There were a number of kids on the waiting list. We said, 'If you don't want to educate our children, we're going to march down High Street and take our children with us. ' Amazingly they found more room.
- Margaret Burley

"A few teachers introduced me to John McGee's Gentle Teaching and some of Anne Donnelan's teachings. Then I went to TASH [The Association for Persons with Severe Handicaps]. When I saw some of the presentations, I started understanding more about what can be done, because all I was hearing was what couldn't be done."
- Meg Kane

"I was in FFA for two years. For two years I learned more about leadership than I ever had. I learned how to be a leader in FFA. We did public speaking, we did work on the farm. Even though I didn't like it, I learned that a leader is not born but is made. Let me tell you this much right now. If I wasn't in FFA, I would not know how to speak what's on my mind and say, 'Hey, give me a chance to prove myself. ' I learned a lot of leadership skills from there."
- Clyde Yoder

"Back in 1978 a member of the Optimist Club came out and asked us if we would we like to have a club. They talked to us and we talked and said yes. That club ran until about 1990. That was one place I really got into leadership. I was secretary and treasurer. I'm also in the Arc. I worked at the state level before I went on the board."
- Bruce Hufford

Leading by Serving

"It became apparent very quickly with the Family Leadership project that a whole lot of people have been doing a whole lot of things for a number of years that are helping other individuals. While I was learning things to help with Ryan, I also met many, many people from across the state and across the country that were trying to make change and had different issues than I had. Because of conversations with them, I wanted to help them get what they needed and wanted for their sons and daughters.
- Bob Mathews

"I would like to be involved with our MR/DD program in some capacity, as parent mentor or parent liaison, because I think I see a shift of thinking behind it. I know a lot of parents are going to say it's just a matter of money. Yes, we have limited funds. How are we going to serve a bigger population with fewer funding methods? What if these programs do shut down? Are these programs really doing all they can anyway? You've got to have those supports."
- Meg Kane

"Once you get out of that workshop, you can really see when you go back in how things have changed and how they are now. You can really get a different perspective. When you were there, you saw it from one point of view, but when you go back in, after you've been out of touch, then you can see it from another viewpoint and see what they really do. You can see all different stuff not being done. I know some of them down at the shop think, 'I'll get the same old job all the time. ' Why don't you give them some freedom and let them choose different jobs?"
- Bruce Hufford

"Cara has been a gift to me. I was an English teacher. That's what I would have done the rest of my life and never have developed the skills I developed, or more importantly, the relationships, so when you go anywhere in the state, people know you. You've helped change their lives, by something you've said, something you've modeled, and you've just done that by leading your life.

"I never did it with the thought, 'I'm deliberately doing this for someone else. ' I've done it for Cara. But what a real gift that has been, to be able to pull from yourself things you didn't know you were ever capable of doing. I have been overwhelmed, going different places in the state and having people say, 'I heard you speak, or I saw your newsletter and it changed my life, or gave me hope. ' What a gift that is. That to me is real energizing when I get up in the morning."
- Cathy Heizman

What opportunities have I had to influence others in a positive way? What made it hard to have a positive influence? What helped?

What organizations have provided a vehicle for me to exercise leadership? What organizations could be vehciles for me to exercise leadership?

Which leaders have served in ways that made it easier for me to take on leadership?

How can I lead in ways that makes it easier for other to assume leadership in their own lives and communities?

What fears do I have about taking on leadership? What might hold me back from trying out new leadership roles? What might help me overcome my fears and reluctance?

American Dreaming is published by a Self-Determination Project: Removing the Mask and developed through a Grant from the Ohio Developmental Disabilities Council. Contact us at: Removing the Mask, Ohio Association of County Boards of MR/DD, 73 East Wilson Bridge Road #B-1, Worthington, OH 43085. All opinions are those of Removing the Mask and do not necessarily reflect those of the Council.

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